| "Pet goth girl on leash thrown off bus" |
[Jan. 24th, 2008|06:42 pm] |
Good evening people,
No, I'm not kidding; the title for this post was taken directly from a Sydney Morning Herald article that appeared in this afternoon's edition.
The article opened with:
"A bus company has apologised to a girl who is led around on a leash by her boyfriend and describes herself as a human pet after one of its drivers threw her off a bus".
So far so good.
"We have spoken to the driver who has talked about health and safety," a spokesman said. "Should she be attached to a chain and something happens on the bus, that could be dangerous. All we are saying is that she is very welcome to use the buses but not when she is on her lead."
All good and well I say, and in this instance I agree with the bus company.
Other people's pets are a nuisance at the best of times - you've been there and you know what I'm talking about. When we visit their houses we're often forced (out of politeness) to anthropomorphise along with the their owners:
"Yes, she really is adorable when she tries to communicate" we say, when what we really mean is this:
"that mangy, ugly fucking aging thing is frotting against my leg again - the moment you turn your back I'm going to thump her and say she slipped".
There is only one good reason for someone to take a pet goth onto public transport, and that's if the owner is handicapped and in need of a Seeing-Eye-Goth.
The Guide-Goths association has a long and proud history in this country, and for decades has trained baby-gothlets from birth to help the emotionally-impaired safely navigate through a world of cripplingly beautiful sunsets, bad 80s synth-pop and sycophantic editorials about Heath Ledger's supposed fucking "genius".
They are also trained in alerting us to the presence of James Blunt CDs by bursting into tears and adopting the foetal position.
I would be lost without my Seeing-Eye-Goth, but as an emotionally-impaired person, I would like to remind people not to bother her when she is working:
1: Do not offer a Seeing-Eye-Goth pats or "hugs" while it is on duty; this will cause it to seize up and become immobilised in a negative-feedback-loop that will cause it to avoid its duties.
2: Don't offer "squeeees" either. That's a whole different world of fucking hurt. Moreso for the owner.
3: And for the love of God, don't comment on its myopia. Not unless you're trying to get me killed. And you don't want that, do you?
Do you? Do you?
Send me Hugs,
Suit Dude |
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| Comments: |
Who is this Seeing-Eye-Goth and should I be jealous? :D
*hugs*
*and runs* :)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...wait...*giggles more*...very true...
however...i've read a few other articles..including the one where the 'owner' mentions he 'unleashes' his pet for safety purposes when they ride the bus...and that the bus driver and his fellow bus driver colleague who was off duty physically shoved them off the bus, were inappropriately verbally abusive, and now, even when the owner catches the bus without his seeing-eye goth, the bus driver never even stops at the bus stop but just drives straight through. As rediculous as the whole situation is...the bus driver in question sounds like a complete asshole.
HAHAHA you're brilliant!!!!!
Hey, James here, good to see you for all of 30 seconds on Sat! Hope all is well.
Likewise - and all is very well here.
Let me know when you're next heading up this way.
I certainly will, sir. Next time I'll be up for a week or two at least. | |
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