you, Sir, just made my morning.

(Reply) (Thread)

"revealing clothes that show their ankles"

That line got me particularly because it is, by and large, a sentiment supported by my parents. Bless.

You know, Roman Catholics and Al Quaeda have an awful lot of things in common. Just a thought.

dd

(Reply) (Thread)

EXACTLY!

Shut up.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

You're doing a lot more deleting today than usual Miss.

Or am I just noticing it more?

end of line

mr

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

BAD day. Don't ask.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Had to censor myself there D, suffered a major sense of humour failure.

Shutting up now.

SD

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Yes well. I know THAT feeling. Having a ratbastard of a week over here.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

How about a little round of...

"Ossie, Ossie, Ossie, Oy, Oy, Oy!"

(Reply) (Thread)

You're hired.

Now get to work on those radio-spots.

SD

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Dear Devil Child Western Scum, Defiler of The One True God,

Allah be praised.

Thank you for your swift response to our call to Jihad.

Firstly, let me clear up a few things, the postmark says Mosman, but I have actually found a rather nice 2 storey semi-detatched in St Peters. Trees, a nice view of those going about the devils work and a fantastic cave at the back of the property for when I feel homesick, although it is a bugger getting the iron lung in there.

Mosman is just the office.

The twin towers as an opening act? You think that was on purpose? Allah save us! In the first place, you try working with a bunch of low-skilled barbarians (Allah have mercy on their souls) who came down literally in the last shower. They could fly the planes, but navigation and landing did not enter thier minds when training.

Funny you should mention my so called trump card, because that was my first target - The Trump building. My entire plan was to blow up the tower and claim it in the name of Allah. Thats it really. Those sons of the devil himself (and by that I mean the Americans) just took it to mean a little more than it actually meant.

I just ran with it.

Sure, its cost me my freedom, hiding in a cave for the last couple of years was a little cramped, and I cant get down to the shops without someone pointing and checking thier pack of cards for my head, but the publicity has been worth it.

I mean, think about it - Im not Tom Cruise, thats for sure. I need as much help as I can get here!

Yes, OK - so the premise for the "jihad" is out now. Im looking for love, obviously in all the wrong places. Ive spoken to George about this, Im assuming you are aware that he's been helping me out recently, and to be totally honest, our George is not much of a catch either. He tried to set me up with one of his daughters for Allahs sake!

Clinton was better in this area, but even he was suggesting I join Monica and himself for a threesome.

I almost tossed my kebab!

I mean, the reason Im all for the all-over birka is that the women in my native country are just so damn ugly - it's the hairy ankles that I cant go for. Why do you think I moved over here?

Your suggestions regarding policy changes in my regime are duly noted and as far as Im concerned, all go. Even though you are an infidel you are showing remarkable promise as far as our overall, how do you say, "look" is concerned.

I saw the work you did with Bob Carr and frankly, Im impressed. How better to hide the fact that he just wants to distance himself from a rapidly deteriorating political party than by just suggesting he quit?

I dont know what your margin on that coup was, but I tip my headgear to you.

The Jewish thing is tricky. We may have to have a few meetings about this but let me say that you were on the ball with that one as well. I had a rather nasty experience with an Adam Sandler DVD a few years back and well... I may have gone a little over the top.

But look at his face one time wont you?

One more thing - we're keeping the name. Im sorry, but that stays. I havent worked this long and trained this many followers to ditch on our brand. Im just thinking that if it's been working for Coke for this many years... well... I think you get where Im going on this one.


Besides, all the new employees jumping on board, well...lets just say that most of them aren't that strong upstairs. Theyre just looking to "find themselves" or "have adventure" or "get thier hands on the virgins promised to them in heaven" etc... If we change the name, the confusion could mean a severe drop in our stocks.

Anyhow, I hope the dirty money in your hands burns holes in your pockets. Go buy yourself something nice. I reccomend a rope similar to the one Judas used in "The Passion Of The Christ". That was a laugh riot Im telling you!

Ill get back to you regarding a further meeting but I cant promise that your suit wont get dirty. Dont mind the mess. Most of my wives have been sick and I had to behead a few. You know the deal, they come over here and suddenly its "credit card" this and "birth control" that.

Makes me weep I tell you.

May you drown in the blood of two thousand martyrs.

Your friend Osama.

(Reply) (Thread)

So many reasons why i love you. this post is just one of them...

(Reply) (Thread)

Wow, here's an idea - since we're so keen to force western democracy on everyone, how bout we ask the Iraqis what they want, maybe even vote on it:

"Please name your preference:
a) any Iraqi party you'd like to see in power or
b) continued foreign occupation for the next 2-plus years?"

But, whilst we in the west of course have the constitutional right to bear arms against any foreign divils who would dare to attack/occupy our soil, we don't really believe other nations do, do we? Especially those foreign Muslim types.

(Reply) (Thread)

"But, whilst we in the west of course have the constitutional right to bear arms"

Australians don't have a constitutional right to bear arms. Neither do the British, the Canadians, the Germans, the French etc etc

a) any Iraqi party you'd like to see in power or
b) continued foreign occupation for the next 2-plus years?"

I think that's a splendid idea but the only problem I can see is this, you left off the crucial third option:

c) A return to non-secular, non-representative clerical rule such as that enjoyed by Afghanistan under the Taliban.

Your two-choice model indicates a belief that once the coalition is out the door, then every warring, tribal faction in Iraq is going to form an orderly line at the ballot box.

It's not going to happen. The insurgents who are constantly bombing the coalition AND their fellow citizens don't want democracy at all. They want a fullly non-democratic clerical regime. No elected officials, just a group of poorly educated men dictating how everyone should behave.

Ahh, the Taliban. Remember them? That's the very model of government that the Iraqi insurgents want to set up.

There's a hundred good reasons I could list as to why the Taliban were a bunch of asshats, but I'll bring up the most important one to me:

I like women.

Yep, it's as simple as that - I really like women. And because I find these exquisite creatures make life worth living, I want to see them enjoy the exact same rights that I have as a man.

The Taliban always hated that concept.

The Taliban forbade them education, forbade them the right to exercise their own freedom to express themselves or associate with whomever they choose.

If the coalition was to pull out right now, then there's a 99% chance that a new Taliban is exactly what Iraq will wind up with, simply because the insurgents are single-minded in their wish to impose clerical rule.

Do you really want to condemn your sisters in Iraq to that fate?

SD

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Where are you getting this "99% they'll get the Taliban" idea? There are different groups within Islam, that was merely one militant group.

Re: "insurgents are single-minded in their wish to impose clerical rule" - not every Iraqi who opposes foreign occupation is an "insurgent"; many are just decent family people like you and I who don't want foreign troops controlling their streets. And if those people would rather have an Iraqi national government in power than a nation so totally dissimilar from them culturally, who are we to tell them arrogantly it's for their own good?

I do take your point that to have an ultra extremist Taliban like government would be bad from our point of view. (I personally would not like to live under that rule. But I am not a muslim and an Iraqi.) However, I think most Iraqis would rather have ANYONE who is Iraqi, rather than the US, in power. What is taking so long to hand over to an Iraqi government? The US seems to think the troops won't leave until there is peace. But in truth, there will not be peace until they go, because the people hate them being there so much. Catch 22.

I'm not gonna decide for my "sisters", when they have a completely different cultural outlook and values from me.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I'll give up sounding off like a firebrand - playing devil's advocate actually, overstating the other side of a case if I feel it's under-represented.

I do concede the allied forces need to be there for a short period to train up the new government, armed forces etc. I do concede there is very good work being done, for the nation's good, building a foundation for the future. I would just like to hear some sort of timeline for their withdrawal that's in the near future.

And yes, the article was funny.
(PS I was speaking as an american with the "right to bear arms" quote, but perhaps it wasn't obvious enough :)

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

No need to offer an olive branch - that would indicate a real dispute of some kind as opposed to just a disagreement on politics.

I encourage opposing views, np Leeanne.

By the way, the Australian Online published an article written by Henry Kissenger in which he details the differences between Iraq and Vietnam. Makes for very thought provoking reading. I'll reprint it here in case they move it:

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,16229787%255E7583,00.html

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Cool. Heh, I always feel a bit guilty after any provocative posts I make. Like "hmm, I've just shown I'm not really a nice girl" sorta thing.
Need to express vs fear of being shunned from the playpen. Go the old hangups.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

>hated that concept

>forbade them education
I think the correct words are "hate" and "forbid"

Have they given the cause up?

end of line

mr

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Have they given the cause up?

The Taliban? Yeah they gave it up in 2001 along with their need for oxygen.

SD

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Damn funny. Keep it up. I picked up this post via good friend neotokyo

(Reply) (Thread)

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

SD

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)