| HeadButt |
[Jul. 4th, 2005|10:43 am] |
Last year I wrote an entry detailing how my girlfriend’s head was attempting to kill me – obviously her head has thus far been unsuccessful and I had since come to believe that it had given up on the notion that I was the spawn of Satan and needed to be eradicated.
Christ I can be gullible sometimes. Alright, most times. Shut up.
In a way, I was correct, her head had given up the fight, but not the war. It had merely decided to retire and was biding its time, meticulously searching for a fitting successor to continue the battle.
It found one – sometime this morning, another part of Miss P's body was appointed Executive in Chief of the Suit Dude Eradication Program.
In short, I was awoken at four thirty this morning in the following fashion:
SD: Zzzzzzz (snore) zzzzzzz (snore) zzzz - Mmmph?! OW! What the? ... JESUS CHRIST, YOU JUST SAT ON MY FRIGGING HEAD!
Miss P: Huh?
SD: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
MP: It’s your fault – what are you doing on this side of the bed?
SD: Holding my skull together with my bare hands. OW! What do you think I was doing? I was sleeping for fuck’s sake!
MP: You shouldn’t be here!
SD: I know, I should be in casualty getting my friggin’ head glued back together. OW!
MP: I didn't want to turn the light on in case you woke up.
SD: So you use my head as trampoline?
We bantered on lovingly in this fashion for a while before I realised that no permanent damage had been done - except to one of my fantasies about being awoken by Miss P in a particular way. That one’s soooo dead in the water now.
I love Miss P dearly and despite this morning’s events I still hold her butt in the highest regard, but from now on I sleep in a helmet.
SD |
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| Comments: |
Tram-amp-oline! hahahaha
Hey, I recall a drunk conversation regarding a jam, something about blues/jazz and Neil Young. Whats goin on with that dude?
Still totally keen on that and so's Suss. We should make it a Saturday afternoon thing followed by a post-jam debriefing at the Duke. Or Matthew Talbot's - whatever's closer.
Email me at suit_dude@walla.com
SD
Mmmm, Neil Young. He was at Live8 on Saturday...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i nearly fell off my chair.
That's classic.
I want to see pics of you in a stackhat and flanno pjs with a suit printed on them.
I want to see pics of you in a stackhat and flanno pjs with a suit printed on them.
Now there's an idea - does Hugo Boss make PJs?
SD
Next the robo cat will come after you with it's elusive cat bark.
Yeah, Miss P's Butt will probably activate the secret, hidden sub-routines:
"Walk About The Dude Head"
"Scratch Crap out of Sleeping Dude Gonad"
"Make the Dude Bark Noise"
Hang on, Mickey does that already ...
SD
It's all a conspiracy. Mickey has reprogrammed Miss P's head and butt to attack you! I see it now.
I seriously have no idea why men complain about things like this.
You were in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and you still complain when bad things happen (assuming, of course, that you consider waking up with your g/f's naked butt on your face - something I am sure I am not alone in assuming most straight men would probably not complain about too heartily - a bad thing).
Take some responsilbity young man. This was your own fault, and you were punished for it.
Try taking your medicine like a man, in future...
Try taking your medicine like a man
In this case I did.
I was thoroughly skullfucked.
SD
But, you forget the very wise words of Frank 'n' Furter...
"A skull-fuck can be nice, Janet Weiss"
Maybe it was mind-fuck, but you get the point.
the very wise words of Frank 'n' Furter...
You've just given me an idea for another entry entitled, "The Day Richard O'Brien Grabbed my Ass".
True story - ask me about it next time I see you.
Shudder.
SD
...o_O
bwahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! | |
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